May you have a daughter and a pony she loves
If I ever got a magic wand to wave for a day or a (temporary) tenure in the big seat beyond the pearly gates, I’d wish you all a daughter that you adore. Then I’d wish her a horse that she adores. And lastly, I’d make it a shitty horse that refuses to load. Because into that one scenario is rolled all of life’s love, commitment and frustration and it will test you to the very limit. They say the Lord does not give you a bigger load than you can bear. It seems he does the same when he matches people and horses and it’s always the one that shreds every single nerve but your last that you – or worse, someone you love – can’t live without. But if you’re up for the challenge, it will also reward you in unexpected and interesting ways.
I recently read somewhere on Facebook (so it must be true) that when life has brought one right down to your knees, it changes you in profound and powerful ways. Or something like that – my memory isn’t as good as it used to be. Well, let me tell you that there’s little to humble you like a horse that won’t get in the trailer.
So here’s my little story for today. It’s about horses and horseboxes and it’s about people. And it’s about people who turn bad things into good ones, by choosing the positives in a situation and reaching out a helping hand. It goes a little like this.
The Best 4 x 4 x Far
The world is your oyster – if your horse loads
Having your own horse means freedom. Horses have, since the dawn of time, been able to go where man can’t and at speeds that he could only dream of. Even with the advent of the best 4×4’s, there are still places you can only get to on horseback. And having your own horsebox, means that your ticket is upgraded to the max. Through the miracle of the combustion engine and modern engineering, you can now choose to put your horse in a horse box and transport it to the edge of beyond and your horse will carry you over. Or, you might choose to take your horse to a show, which really is a window into another world. It’s a strange and complex one with a lot of weird and unwritten rules. It’s mainly occupied by crazy horse women, who all own an assortment of crazy horses, but most of all, it’s occupied by love, companionship and empathy, the ready opportunity to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and occasionally the chance to do a good deed.
So a few months ago, a friend of mine had entered for a show. I will call her Gaby, for that is her name. Gaby does not have her own horsebox, so she asked Amanda, a mutual horsebox-owning friend, for a lift. So far so good. Except that, this being good old, crime-ridden South Africa, a bunch of no-goods stole the wheels off Amanda’s horse box a few days before the show. Which is where I enter the picture. For I too have a horse box and am a paid-up member of the crazy horse lady fraternity.
In times of need, us crazy horse ladies network and help one another out. I’d recently been done a good turn, so when the call came to ask whether I would stand in and provide a lift, I naturally said yes – and dragged my husband along, because adventures are too good not to share. And all was well. The horse, who happens to be Great Rhythm, a globe-trotting racehorse of great renown – was sweet and kind and dutifully loaded and traveled like the seasoned pro that he is.
Gaby is a very sweet girl, without too much show mileage and was going to the show without any support in the way of husband, family, etc. which anyone can tell you is a pretty tough and lonely place to be. Don’t be fooled by glamorous girls looking cool and aloof in their white jods and immaculate jackets – horse shows are terrifying. Take a bunch of highly strung horses, plonk them in unfamiliar surroundings with a bunch of highly strung riders on their backs and you are literally seconds away from disaster of apocalyptic proportion. The real reason those girls are all so pale-faced and tight-lipped is that most of the time, they are just scared witless and hoping to survive long enough to see lunch (because show nerves have forced them to skip breakfast!).
All hands on deck
Show prep
So we got stuck in, led Grey around, held him to be tacked up, filled buckets, organised stables, gave legs up, held jackets and organised tests. And lo and behold, Grey was calm, Gaby was relaxed and they had a good test. A great test even. Even though it was only their second ever dressage show. And life was good.
And we bragged to other parents and hangers on that we were with the glamorous Grey and recounted his history and extolled his exploits on the track. And it turned out that there were other ex racers on the showgrounds and so we could swap our racing histories and interests and suddenly we had other horses and riders to applaud at their final salute.
While all that was happening, it transpired that there was another girl who had come to the show on her own, without even the rent-a-crowd stand-in driver and husband for support. Her name was Suzie and on the drive over her horse had gone mad in the box. She’d had a rotten show and her nerves had got progressively worse as the day wore on as she didn’t know how she was going to get home. Fortunately, about the only thing horse women like more than horses is solving problems. Soon a little party had gathered and it was decided that Suzie’s horse needed a travelling companion. However, as Suzie’s horse lived substantially further away than anyone else’s, this presented a problem as the companion would have to travel all the way home with him, before turning around and going home themselves. Who would be prepared to help?
Knight(ess) in Shining Armour
Despite it being a complete stranger and the fact that it would mean an extra long day for both herself and her horse, Gaby volunteered without a second thought. A local transporter was called so that the horses could be moved in a larger vehicle with a sensible amount of space in case Suzie’s horse decided to repeat his morning’s antics. Unfortunately the transporter could not be there for several hours, so our newly formed party settled in for a companionable wait.
We had just finalised the transport arrangements when the results of the class were announced – Gaby had won! – and our new friends, our damsel in distress, myself and husband all clapped and cheered as Gaby collected her ginormous rosette. The transporter arrived, the horses loaded and in the end, everyone got home safely, albeit a little later than planned.
In a fun twist, it turned out that the transport driver had broken Grey in when he was a baby, had followed him during his illustrious racing career and was thrilled to see him again. Damsel no-longer-in-distress was grateful and happy to have her horse home in one piece, Gaby had a wonderfully huge rosette to go on her wall and Grey had an extra-large portion of carrots waiting when he finally got home. And in between the sunburn, the problem-solving and the sensational blue ribbon, several new friendships had been forged.
Wonderful women
Women are good at turning stressful situations into something fun
So now you’re wondering why I’ve told you this story. Well, firstly it’s because it’s about horses and girls and pooling resources to turn a potentially stressful situation into something quite wonderful, and because when we’re handed the opportunity, that’s what women do best. And secondly it’s because horses, like women, probably don’t constitute the easiest of life’s choices, but generally come with a ticket to adventure for those who are brave enough to jump in anyway.
August – and 9 August in particular – is the time we celebrate women and remember the 20,000 women who gathered outside the Union Buildings in 1956 to protest the proposed amendments to the ‘pass laws’ or Urban Areas Act of 1950. After handing over their petitions, the women gathered quietly outside and broke into their specially composed protest song with the chorus “wathint’ abafazi, wathint’ imbokodo (“Now you have touched the women, you have struck a rock”). The phrase has been slightly modified over the years to “you strike a woman, you strike a rock” and has come to represent women’s courage and strength.
Kenilworth Ladies Day 2015
I think women being strong and courageous is something to celebrate and so does Kenilworth Racing, who will be celebrating their third Ladies Day on Saturday, 15 August. If you haven’t already, make sure you grab a ticket – available at R500 per person by ringing (021) 700 1600 or by email on [email protected]). The theme for this year is the glitz and elegance of Las Vegas. There will be fun, fashion, free flutters (thanks to racing vouchers from BettingWorld), good food and prize giveaways. Land Rover is joining the fun and laying on vehicles to drive ladies to the start to experience the excitement of the gates crashing open up close and personal. Jenny Morris, SA’s ‘Giggling Gourmet’ will be our MC for the day and of course, in what has become a traditional highlight, there will a racehorse on auction, generously donated by Marsh Shirtliff, Bryn Ressell and bred by Hemel ‘n Aarde Stud. Successful Cape trainer Brett Crawford is kindly donating his training fee and considering that this same combination got the 2013 ‘Ladies Day horse’ Zubbadubbadoo to 4 wins from 5 outings to date, this is sure to be a big drawcard! In keeping with the spirit of Women’s Day, all proceeds go to a good cause and this year’s chosen charity is The Sunflower Fund.
Women can be pretty hard on ourselves – and each other – from time to time, but we can also be incredibly generous, strong and resourceful and it’s good to be reminded that when we help and support each other, we are capable of some pretty remarkable things. So come down to Kenilworth on Saturday and join the fun.
